Correction lettre de motivation en anglais

**fflash** · 29/06/2009 15h25

Bonjour,

Je dois écrire une lettre de motivation en Anglais pour ma candidature en thèse, quelqu'un pourrait-il m'aider pour la correction et l'amélioration de ma lettre.

Merci d'avance.

I am writing to apply for the PhD in network security at University of XXX and XXX Laboratory. I got my Master degree in Networks and Distributed Systems from XXX University, XXX. I am extremely interested in obtaining a PhD position in our university, as its research programs have a worldwide reputation. I respectfully submit this letter of application, for I believe my experiences and network security knowledge make me well qualified to meet the needs of XXX Laboratory.

I graduated in computer sciences in 2007 from XXX University, XXX. During my studies I became very interested in network security, how to monitor and analyze network traffic and how to improve the safety of our networks. I did my degree internship in XXX at XXX Company, which is focused on the networks security.
I developed a component for their main software XXX, which passively monitor network activity. From this truly interesting experience, my interest on networks grows up.

During my Master degree, I followed the professional way. I acquired strong skills on how to work in group and how to provide finalized project in time. I got my first experience on research by working on the implementation of the HPAR protocol for wireless sensors networks proposed by Dartmouth University.

However, I learn my main interesting skills from my second internship at XXX company, XXX. I worked on the design and the implementation of a botnet detection platform. This subject was totally new for the company and no work was done before. First part of my training were focus on the study of botnet research papers and how to develop a new interesting way to detect botnet. In a second part,
from the acquired knowledge, I developed my platform.

I believe that my academic training and my two internships focused on Network Security prepare me to be an effective researcher. As the University of XXX and its XXX Laboratory has important research activities in these areas, I would like to have the opportunity to develop its PhD program in Network Security, for which I am confident I have the skills, knowledge and competence.

I welcome an opportunity to discuss my teaching and my research projects with you.

Thank you very much for considering my application and I look forward to hearing from you.

**JRB** · 29/06/2009 19h53

Bonjour,

Voici ma version très légèrement remaniée.

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to apply for the PhD in network security at theUniversity of XXX and XXX Laboratory. I got my Master degree in Networks and Distributed Systems from the University of XXX.
I am extremely interested in obtaining a PhD position in your University, as its research programs have a worldwide reputation.
I respectfully submit this letter of application for I believe my experiences and network security knowledge make me well qualified to meet the needs of XXX Laboratory.

I graduated in computer sciences in 2007 from the University of XXX. During my studies I took a keen interest in network security, worked on how to monitor and analyze network traffic and how to improve the safety of our networks. My degree internship, done in XXX within XXX Company, focused on networks security.
I developed a component for their main XXX software, which passively monitors network activity. My interest on networks has still been increased by this truly interesting experience.
During my Master degree, I followed the professional way. I acquired strong skills on how to work in group and how to provide a finalized project in time. I got my first experience on research by working on the implementation of the HPAR protocol for wireless sensors networks proposed by Dartmouth University.

However, I learnt my main interesting skills from my second internship within XXX company. I worked on the design and the implementation of a botnet detection platform. This subject was totally new for the company and no work had been done before. The first part of my training was focused on the study of botnet research papers and how to develop a new interesting way to detect botnet. In a second part, I developed my platform from the acquired knowledge.
I believe that my academic training and my two internships focused on Network Security have prepared me well to be an effective researcher. As the University of XXX and its XXX Laboratory have important research activities in these areas, I would like to be given the opportunity to develop its PhD program in Network Security, for which I am confident I have the knowledge and skills.

I welcome an opportunity to discuss my teaching and research projects with you.

Thank you very much for considering my application.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours faithfully,

NB Ne pas oublier de dater ni de signer.

Bonne chance.